smell my finger.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
