I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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