I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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