yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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