I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
