Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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