Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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