There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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