did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize