Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my liver is dry heaving
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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