hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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