He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
