nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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