I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
