new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I stole a fireplace last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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