You just made me feel so damn special
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My pussy is not your playground.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
