Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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