But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
