Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize