Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
