You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
