sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
