I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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