Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Girls should come with a carfax report
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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