I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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