I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
