She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
