My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
