I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
