Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
