if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
