my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
