phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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