I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Green mimosas i think yes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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