remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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