of course. lets lasso hookers.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
