i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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