well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
