Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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