it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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