I need help removing her.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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