Don't you send me to vm
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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