I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize