and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we're making bets on your personal life
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Two words: blizzard sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
