I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
