I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
