Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
