So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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