Already got asked if we're dating
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
