He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
