If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
