Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Barsexuality is the new black.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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