dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
