SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
