I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
