he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
