I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
