can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
