also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
